Save the Koalas

It was the kind of rare moment that Joseph K relished. Regional Victoria was still under coronavirus restrictions but freedoms were slowly returning as infection rates dropped. Mask firmly, if irritatingly, in place, K took a stroll through the centre of town.

As he walked, K was surprised to encounter a group of people standing behind a trestle table, a little too close to each other. The table was plastered with colour photocopies of Koalas and a larger, bright banner ran along the front stating, “SAVE THE KOALAS”.

A young woman held out a leaflet. K stopped. “Save the koalas!” the woman smiled.

“I have to say, I’m surprised to see political campaigning up and running again,” said K. “I guess it’s a good sign that we’re returning to normal.”

A young man with a cropped beard and beanie turned towards K, “This is not a political campaign,” he stated. “We just want to save the koalas. Who wants the koalas to die? You can buy a badge and sign our petition,” he suggested, somewhat menacingly.

“If nobody wants the koalas to die then who is the petition for?”

“The mayor,” the man replied. “It’s just to show the strength of feeling in the community. You need to sign it. And buy a badge.”

“But it’s not political?”

“No.”

K approached the table. He paused. Taking the hint, the group withdrew a metre or so back from the other side. K approached the petition that was lying on a clipboard next to a bottle of hand sanitiser. There were two containers of pens. The first was marked ‘clean pens’ and the second, ‘used pens’.

K began to read the petition. In large lettering, it began with: Save the Koalas

“Just sign it,” said the man.

But K continued reading. The next line was in smaller lettering: Koalas are at risk from overdevelopment.

Fair enough, thought K. Then he read the next line in even smaller lettering: Now is the time to act. It is an emergency. We must pause development immediately.

Wait. K was not so sure about this.

He continued to read the ever smaller text: We must stand together against capitalism and the oppressive Western colonial concept of private property. Property must be collectively owned for the public good.

And finally: Democracy gives the illusion of choice to those suffering false consciousness. We must resist and install a dictatorship of the masses.

“I’m not sure I can sign this,” said K. “I’m not sure I agree.”

The woman who had offered K a leaflet looked incredulous. “You want the koalas to die?”

K slowly walked away.

When K arrived home, his wife was sat at the kitchen table waiting for him. She was wearing a koala badge.

“Where’s your badge?” she asked K.

“Erm…” K was startled, “I didn’t get one. I’m not sure I agree with it all.”

“Don’t you have to go an awfully long way out of your way to disagree with the concept of saving the koalas? Why would you?” K’s wife was astonished. “Anyway, you’ll need one for work.”

What did work have to do with this?

“Really? But what about all the stuff on abolishing private property and democracy?”

But K’s wife just stared blankly at him. Her eyes were dead, as if there was a man outside of K’s field of view who was pointing a gun at her.

“Why would anyone be against saving the koalas?” she asked, coldly. “It’s bizarre.”